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MATCH FIXING?
Friend - "OOH! What a beautiful diamond!"
Mrs. Kumaralingamsami Chettiar - "It's a family heirloom."
Friend - "OOH! How wonderful!"
Mrs. Kumaralingamsami Chettiar - "It comes with a terrible curse."
Friend - "OOH! What's that?"
Mrs. Kumaralingamsami Chettiar - "Mr. Kumaralingamsami Chettiar."
Old jokes die hard. But, last I heard of Mrs. Kumaralingamsami
Chettiar
was that she had become Mrs. Sharma.
Since prehistoric times,
marriage has always been about asset
management, but things have become a bit confusing ever since our
definition of assets have undergone change. For example, for his
dowry,
should a man bring his pants, or his apron?
Another issue of the times
that needs addressing is the TDS.
Incidentally, it stands for Tall, Dark and Sexy. And applicable to
males
only, and since my school education times, considered a crucial
criterion for the marriage market. A concept that was proliferated by
Mills & Boons. One should not get confused with the Government
labeling
it as Tax deductible at Source (though it is actually one and the same
thing). Ever since tax evasion has become the in thing, it leads to a
few complications.
So, what are the new
definitions of eligibility?
It's a new era, baby! The professionals are in, and the mummies are
out!
Informed sources tell me that bride burning in India has stopped only
because people have got enlightened to the Depreciation Mahavidya.
After
all, refrigerators, Marutis and TVs do get old, gold devalues, and the
stock market crashes. No point in adding fuel to the fire, when there
is
so much global warming anyway.
Assets don't last a
lifetime, but what about resourcability? What about
the Capitation Fee that Dad paid for that A-Grade educational
institution? Whatever happened to those slick, English speaking MBAs?
Green cards converting to pink slips are not the only problem, but
there
are others like being over 40. Or being a Java expert. Or a plain
graduate. Or . I can vouch for it; nowadays in the cocktail party
circuit, it is getting impolite to ask anyone their profession.
The social impact is visible. The Marigold-Mala industry has crashed,
ever since the Phoren Returned have returned - to stay. Also, the
recent
crises of the crashing of the IT job market in the US has upset the
credibility of our astrologers so hard that the Government has
introduced Astrology courses for Graduates, to reduce the
complications
of matrimonial decisions. A good thing too - for as many marriages
that
are made in heaven, an equivalent number are made in the immigration
office.
We are a generation that
is short of answers. We look at one generation
before us who have made a philosophy out of Living within your means
and
shudder at their justifications which cloaks an inability for
commercial
evolution. We look at ourselves and wonder what would happen to us of
we
discarded our predatory spirit, a quality much denounced by all. We
bear
the guilt, but are there choices?
Human Resource, I'm told,
is a great asset. But it makes no damn
difference if it means ME - Unemployed. Or worse, if obsoletion of
skills is taking place at younger ages, then we are heading for an
environment of financial and mental poverty. In our subconscious lurks
Jack, our inspirational hero who climbs a beanstalk, steals the
giant's
wealth, and then lives happily ever after. Good wealth management must
have been his strong point, apart from predating on giants. We must
let
Jack go - forever. For there is no easy way. No magic formula. No one
time Bingo. The commercialism of life demands our predatory instincts
to
rise to the occasion again and again and again.
And lets not confuse
issues. Life is not about GOT.it's about GETTING.
And also lets not get into verbose moral tangles here.
And lets not digress.
In-laws who are the casualties in the commercials
of matrimony are complaining. No one seems to be settling down anymore
with each other, or with anyone else for that matter.
Take Bharti, for example.
A qualified Chartered Accountant working in a
multinational bank, with a husband who is a qualified MBA from the US
working as a marketing director with a leading garment company.
Downsizing, and husband gets unemployed. Single income, with a husband
in a perpetual bad mood is a bad deal. She leans on colleague Jacob,
the
Marketing chief of her bank. Today Jacob and Bharti are happily
married.
Incidentally, Jacob got unemployed when his bank retrenched. He has
now
become a chauffeur, earning more in tips than his salary on his
previous
job. But Bharti says that she has married him not for the money, but
for
the ride. Now, with the current crises relating to CNG, her future may
yet take another turn.
The kids are complaining
too. They have just won the hard earned
reputation of latch-key kids. But if Mom and Dad alternate with spells
at home, it's just not being fair. At this rate, kids may get
compelled
to take up jobs just to get a break from home. Soon, anyone who runs
an
anti-child labour protest is liable to get sued by a bunch of
unemployed
parents.
Nowadays, one just can't win.
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