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Take Three Minutes to Think of Yourself First
Pramod Batra
I am not excessively religious, but I do believe that I have a
definite place in the divine scheme. After all, God has created me
after 84,00,000 incarnations!
Therefore, I learnt years ago to take care of myself. Perhaps I have
inherited this disposition from my mother. She looked after herself
well and was usually in good humour. She would take greater care of
her “mental drawing room” than the one in the house. Cheerful herself,
she spread cheerfulness all around.
I was prompted to write this article after having listened several
times to the audiotape, “One minute for Myself”, by Dr. Spencer
Johnson of One Minute Manager fame, a book which has sold no less than
40,00,000 copies.
It seems relevant after my having shared with you my research on sons,
daughters and wives. However, I think “myself” should have come first,
then wife, next daughters and finally sons.
Now, let us stop awhile and take stock of what we have been doing.
Many of us are racing through life at such a frantic pace that we
don’t have the time to stand and stare and think. We are blind to the
glory of a sunset and the beauty of flowers. We keep deluding
ourselves by saying, “Let me finish this thing, then I’ll relax” or
“let me slog for a few years more- then Haridwar.” When we are
speeding breathlessly along, life passes us by. It is a pity that many
of us are moving at great speeds without checking if we are going in
the right direction. We are so busy looking at our speedometers that
we forget the milestones, and blunder along the wrong road. Now let’s
stop a minute and think …is it not more important to go in the right
direction first, than to be so obsessed with the speed? Take it easy.
Relax. Read. Reflect. Make sure you’re on the right track, then… zoom
ahead.
How can we live a more meaningful and satisfying life? By wringing
happiness out of every minute that is slipping through our fingers,
that’s how. But our own happiness, to a large measure, depends on our
ability to make our near and dear ones happy. And, conversely, we can
give others happiness only if we ourselves are sufficiently happy.
Because, how can you lend me a hundred rupees unless you have at least
six hundred of your own?
Thus, it becomes imperative that we increase our balance in the
Happiness Account. I will tell you a simple technique for achieving
this goal. Take three minutes every three hours to think of yourself
first. This is how you go about it:
First minute: Drive away all thoughts. Empty the cup of your mind of
its stale contents, and prepare it for fresh thoughts and ideas.
Thoughtlessness first.
Second minute: Think of what you can do now, or a little later, for
yourself that will make you happy.
Third minute: Start doing it or imagine that you have done it.
I have many ways of doing it. One of them is this: I think of Hema
Malini! Because way back in 1976 in Bangalore I was able to persuade
her to sit on a Ford 3600 at the Ford launch and won a bet of two
bottles of Scotch from my senior colleague, Mr. Indarjit Singh. Now,
when I think of that moment of triumph I once again become the hero.
Hero, that’s it! Think of similar achievements and you are on the way
to thinking of yourself first.
We sometimes come across people who sacrifice their own pleasure for
the sake of others. In the process they collect a great deal of cuts,
bruises and scars. These hurt. And on top of it all, the people for
whom sacrifices were made generally turn out to be ungrateful.
The pain turns to resentment and keeps accumulating. All the bottled
up anger starts showing in the tone of their voice and their drooping
eyes and long faces. Shocked to hear this, are you? Why don’t you look
around?
Then there are some blessed souls — those who put smiles in their
voices. Observe them. Often they are neatly dressed, contented and do
not believe in bending themselves backwards to please others. They
look after themselves first. They are happy, and they share their
happiness with others. Somehow, we foolishly call them selfish. But,
come to think of it, what is wrong if they have fun themselves and
share the fun with others?
After these general observations, let me come to an individual
instance (that’s me!). I bounce out of bed at 6 a.m. and ask myself,
“What can I do now that will make me happy?” I don’t let any dismal
thought intrude into my mind. Instead, I start waking up my daughters
with sunny cheerfulness in my voice. And, my day begins pleasantly.
I carry the same sparkling spirit to office. There I start the day by
rearranging my cabin here and there. This pleases my aesthetic sense
and elevates my mood. Then, the day’s meetings commence. I breeze
through them with a song in my heart. By following the unbeatable
techniques taught by the One Minute Manager –one minute for setting
goals, one minute for praises and one minute for reprimands — I make
the meetings yield the best results. If a dealer comes to visit me, I
think of ways of making him and myself happy. So we talk, joke,
discuss politics and have a real good time.
Lunch, at Escorts, is more of a picnic. I relish talking to my
colleagues and dealer guests. I enjoy sharing with them what I have
read recently. I also learn a great deal by listening to them.
Around 3 p.m., I again ask myself what I could do to make the Escorts
Dealers Development Association Limited (EDDAL) more beneficial to its
dealer members. I repeat this wholesome exercise at 6 p.m. and 9 p.m.
I am not suggesting that you should make a fetish of the
three-minutes-every-three-hours formula. You can vary the duration of
thinking about yourself to suit your style and convenience. Suppose on
your way to office you are stopped by the red light at a crossing.
What do you do? You can curse and fret and fume and louse up your own
mood. Or you can do what I do – I think of some way of making myself
happy.
Healthy people think of themselves. Sick people neglect themselves. I
have a sneaking suspicion that dowry deaths are the result of the
“stamp collecting” phenomenon by those girls who were drilled to
suffer and sacrifice.
Here are some techniques that I have evolved for increasing the
balance in my Happiness Account:
1. I have discovered the unsurpassable joy of work. To me work is
happiness because an honest day’s work is the best medicine for all
ills. And its side-effects are achievement, success and lasting
happiness.
2. I always take time off for myself – an hour or so during which I
can do whatever pleases me without feeling guilty about it. sometimes
I use it to take a walk around Humayun’s Tomb. During the walk I hold
communion with myself. I see with my mind’s eye – that deep-seated
visionary faculty, which is so powerfully symbolized by Lord Shivjee’s
Third Eye. I consider ways and means of making myself happy. Sometimes
I just play back to myself the floppies of what I have seen or read
which would enable me to do my job better and would pull me out of an
occasional indifferent mood. It helps. At other times I enjoy the
luxury of going out and buying a big watermelon or simply indulging in
kite flying.
3. I have learnt to say no! I love to do somebody a favour, but I do
not allow anybody to take me for granted. I am willing to feel hurt
for others, but I do not fancy the idea of bleeding myself to death
for others. Am I selfish? I don’t think so.
4. I learn from my mistakes. They are my best teachers. Instead of
letting a mistake disturb my present tranquility, I use the lesson
derived from it to enhance my future happiness. I also observe others
and learn from their mistakes.
5. I put myself first. Does that sound selfish? Well, in the long run
it is good for everybody. I do not sacrifice so much for others that
it would start hurting me. I stop doing for others when I stop
enjoying doing for others. Hence my service to others is warm and
sincere. It makes them happy and gives me a great deal of pleasure.
6. I never get insulted. Have you heard the following story? A young
MBA rushed into the sales manager’s office and complained that he had
been insulted by a dealer. And he gave details. The sales manager
after giving him a patient hearing said, “Son, I have been in the
dealership business for 25 years. Dealers have virtually thrown me out
of their showrooms, have shouted at me, have delayed payments…but no
dealer has ever insulted me!”
If you have self –confidence and self –esteem, no one can ever insult
you. I know my own worth. Therefore, no one can really offend me or
shake my faith in myself.
7. I ask questions. They help me avoid dumb mistakes, and prevent
future misery. The habit of asking questions also assists me in
establishing healthy communication with my inner self, and makes the
process of exchanging thoughts and ideas immensely satisfying for both
of us.
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